Sadness, jealousy, and happiness. Those were the feelings that were going through me when I was looking at him while he was telling me about his new girl.
Just to be clear, I am the one who asked to know. I needed the raw truth in order to move forward. I was very happy that he found someone he liked, and it was also a realization that it was over. That he had moved on.
Insecurity and jealousy struck me and I started to have comparative questions, when he stopped me. What he said changed everything. “You cannot be replaced. You are unique. I just want to try something different”. That calmed my mind and insecurities right away. He was right, no one will ever be like me.
That sentence changed my life. It created a certain strength within my heart. For the first time, I left like I filled my own shoes. No one will ever replace me. I am not to be replaced. Of course, I am no longer his wife, but I will forever be the mother of his kids, and I will forever be his ex-wife. And most of all, I have found my true me and there is only one of me.
I am not scared anymore. I have found my place and it is in my own heart. For the first time in my life I feel rooted like a 150 year old oak tree. Very solid. I will always be who I am. I will always love my children, and they will always love me. Adding someone else in the family mix will not change any of that. In fact, if it adds happiness to their lives, it brings happiness to mine.
Happy daddy, happy children, happy mommy